Alice - my neurosis is my superpower

Model, art direction, styling, make up, all post production, poetry: Angelique Joy
Photography: Brent Leideritz
Year: 2015

Release, let go
Arms open
Words spoken
I live, I belong
Spiraling cold
Grip, take hold
A moment gone
A minute too old
My words spoken
I’ve been sold
Alice in wonderland
Thoughts like flowing sand
Push, pull and fall
Tell me who you really are
Free fall and land
I’m repeating myself
In need of a little help
Hold and repeat, hold and repeat
I am awake, sleep
A sinister whirl
Hold on,
Lost in the curl.
Breathe, decompress,
I’m just caught in a lil stress.
I know what to do,
A song, a dance, do you?
I can’t get a grip,
Sweat and slip.
On the edge of my tongue,
Hold on this is fun.
Power and heels.
My life it did yield.
Senses pricked,
Cold on my skin.
A light I can see,
A fire to burn, to be.
Falling through risk and life.
Like some kind of whirlwind strife.
Alice in wonderland.
Nothing to any plan.
Anxiety spiraling.
I can’t navigate these waters,
Life always just around the corner,
Collecting my words,
Like a lonely hoarder.
Feel it rising,
Asphyxiating my breath.
Tied to all around.
I scream a silent sound.
Pain from yesterday,
Bled into today.
Taken all my words,
Nothing more to say.
The past.
Seeps into this moment,
Seeking to release.
Some kind of atonement.
The sound in my head,
Full of words never said.
Take me under the stars,
Forget me all the scars.
Rain trickles down,
Tears from a sad clown.
Water on our skin,
Emptiness within.
Wings open,
Love? Just a token.
Alice in wonderland.
Come to my stars,
And ill meet you at your moon.
Words falling too soon.
Down the rabbit hole I go,
Stuck in the flow.
She lands, and is still.
So many silent words,
Here take this pill.
Sitting on a snow flake,
Prosaic nonsense to take.
Dearest Alice.

Aj